


How to love in secret

by Daughteroffandoms



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - World War II, F/F, Fem!Cas, Mechanic Dean, WWII, bar tender castiel, fem!dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-07
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-12 11:16:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5664160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daughteroffandoms/pseuds/Daughteroffandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Deanna has just graduated from WAC when she meets Castiel Novak. From there things get interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Graduation - October 1944

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing something long. I hope you enjoy this. I will complete it and update it at some point.

“Come on Winchester. It is time to celebrate.”

Charlie always was the one who like getting off base. WAC graduation had finished up a few hours earlier and soon Deanna would be sent to the shipyard waiting till the next ship came in from the war to get repairs. Deanna had the focus and intelligence to do this. She didn’t want to be another house wife, she want a purpose. She got that in the women’s army sector. Deanna Winchester was not just the girl who protected her younger brother. She was the girl that wanted to protect everyone.  
Deanna had just ran out of the room to meet Charlie, Lisa, Dorothy, and Meg. Charlie was standing a little close to Dorothy but no one cared. Those girls were two of the best in their unit. 

They were going out dancing for the night to celebrate the past 9 months’ accomplishments. They had just graduated and thought a night out was well deserved. They decided to walk the few miles it would take them to get there, they were all in great condition, why the hell wouldn’t they walk?

When the girls walked into the bar at least six guys turned around to see who had just came through. Some of the other soldiers of the Army knew all too well not to mess with them. The other men had a night coming for them. Deanna didn’t mind people looking. She knew she was beautiful. She also knew no guy would try something with her, she had a strict feeling around her. Deanna went to order drinks for all of the girls while they found a table. 

“I need 5 drinks of something easy,” said Deanna with a tone of little patience. Deanna knew that request had come out wrong so she tried again reading the girls behind the counters name tag this time. “Excuse me Castiel,” Deanna had a habit of reading the name tag of whom ever she was speaking with, “ I was sent to gather some drinks for my friends and I. I was wondering if you had something cheap we could use to start the night on.” Castiel raised her head to look directly at Deanna her piercing blue eyes, holding Deanna still where she stood, replied with some comment Deanna couldn’t make out. 

By the time Deanna was given the drinks she had collected herself enough to carry the drinks over to her friends and still carry herself with the same authority. When she got back to the table and sit down next to Lisa with all the drinks Meg stood up and sat down right next to Deanna. Meg was always the most forward but normally did do this kind of thing landed over to Deanna and spoke under her breath. Deanna almost didn’t catch what she was saying. “The bartender watched you come over here.” That was all it took to get to get the of-course-I’m-straight Deanna Winchester to smile into her glass of cheap beer. 

The night was filled with dancing and smiles and drinks. Almost all of them seemed to relax. Deanna kept seated, watching to make sure none of her friends got something they didn’t want. Deanna was the only one left with her hair still tied tightly back and wasn’t on the dance floor. She decide another drink would do her some good. Get some of the darker thoughts out of her head. When she went up to get another drink Castiel was still tending. Castiel looked up and knew exactly what to give Deanna. When Castiel set Deanna’s drink up on the counter she asked why Deanna’s hair wasn’t let down and she wasn’t dancing. Deanna knew what “letting your hair down” meant and she diffidently didn’t swing that way even if the girl was Castiel even this girl with her perfect blue eyes, and dark hair, and perfect pink lips couldn’t sway her. Then Deanna’s watched as Castile’s eyes went wide in realization of what she just said, Castile’s cheeks flushed a bright pink. Deanna finally put the pieces together. Castiel only meant to ask an innocent question. Castiel quick tried to fix what she had done, “I mean… um….. er…… why aren’t you out dancing with your friends and having fun?” 

Deanna decided to stay at the bar and talk with Castiel. She didn’t want Castiel to feel that she had made a horrible mistake. Deanna knew how it felt to be misunderstood and was not about to let this poor girl feel bad. Their conversations got more consuming and soon Deanna’s eyes no longer wandered to her friends. Reassuring herself that her friends could take care of themselves. Deanna would quietly watch Castiel pour drinks for people as they would ask. By the end of the night Deanna knew that Castiel had lots of brothers and sisters, that she was named after and angel. Deanna secretly agreed that Castiel was defiantly an angel. Castiel had learned all about Deana and her little brother. Something about those shining green eyes held Castiel’s attention like no man ever could.  
Deanna heard a sudden yelp. Turns out that Lisa could still find trouble. She would know that sound from anywhere. Lisa was about to get something she didn’t want. Deanna was quick to half run out the door and find Lisa to get her out of what she got herself into. She then gathered the rest of the girls deciding they all had enough celebration for the night. It was time to be getting back to the base anyway.

On the way home the girls were talking and laughing about everything. Deanna didn’t mind until Charlie said something that through Deanna into a state of momentary shock. 

“Yeah, Deanna, and the Bartender seemed to have eyes only for you.” Dorothy said as she waged her finger at Deanna. 

“I think Winchester had eyes for her too!” Charlie said a bit too loudly for Deanna to be okay with and heard giggling from the others in response.

Deanna’s only response was to turn bright red. This couldn’t really be true. Though Deanna did catch herself staring at Castiel and Castiel staring at her a lot more than she would ever admit.

By the time they all got back to the camp it was getting dangerously close to curfew. A curfew that didn’t really apply to them anymore but Deanna was the only one who remembered that. The girls made it in time though and were told, by their leader Harvelle, to be careful next time they went into town and to be sure to make it back to camp in plenty of time. She knew Winchester watched out for these girls and knew that just going with what Deanna had already said would work out best for everyone. 

That night Castiel’s face surfaced in Deanna’s dreams. Everything caused her to remember her face. The blue of the shower curtains. The dark sheets of the bed spread. The orderly room coming close to perfection. Deanna had never had this happen so she figured it was just the release of all the stress. That the dreams of Castiel didn’t mean anything. She tried convincing herself of this, but something kept telling her she isn’t right about it. For some reason Castiel is important to Deanna in a way no one has ever been.


	2. What is next?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week later and the girl with blue eyes still lingers in Deanna's mind

A week later it was time for Dorothy and Charlie to leave out with the resource women. They were to travel to country to sell bonds and teach people how to better cop with the rationing of food. It was time to go out again. Everyone voted they go back to The Bunker. Deanna was secretly very happy about this she thought it may give her the chance to see Castiel again. Also, to once more remind herself the Castiel is still in her dreams every night. 

This time they called in some street cars to take them to the Bunker. When they walked in some of the girls the Charlie and Dorothy are leaving with were there so those two went over to them. Walking away with the goal of trying to make friends outside of work. Deanna, without realizing, scanned the bar to see if she could locate Castiel. This time the only thing she found were a pair of blue eyes string right at her. When she held Castiel’s gaze for a moment too long she knew that she needed to dance and forget about that girl. The first step though was facing Castiel to get a drink. Deanna told the girls where she was going them, as if she was floating, Deanna glided over to the bar floor and sat down next to one of the men who was drinking alone. Castiel was a little too quick to ask Deanna what she wanted. This time Deanna opted for a more “girly” drink so as to seem like a girl that guys will talk to. 

After finishing her first drink Deana took down here hair and let the curls fall down. Then unbuttoned the top button of her uniform. Deana knew how to make guys want her so she did what she knew best. 

Though soon after she did that she heard the sound of shattering of a glass on the ground. Castiel turned bright red as she caught Deanna watching her to see what happened. Deanna had to take a moment to realize that what she was doing was working on Castiel just as much as it was working on the man sitting next to her. As Castiel bent down to clean up the mess she made Deanna saw how Castiel’s body was even more perfect than she previously realized. Deanna felt her body heat up as she turned pink from just watching Castiel move. Deanna kept telling herself that she liked guys only. Though the dreams from that week have been telling her something else. Maybe Castiel is the exception to that. Rules always have exceptions. For now though Deanna need to focus and what’s his name sitting next to her. She knew she wouldn’t go home with him. Her curfew may have been lifted but she want not about to tell him that. 

By 11 o'clock all of the girls were in a state of needing to be taken home. Deanna gathered her friends and called a couple of street cars to take them back to base. Not before turning to give Castiel a small smile and winking. Watching as her actions took effect and cause a light shade of pink to creep up Castiel’s checks.   
That night Deanna laid in bed thinking that maybe when Castiel meant what she said about Deanna letting her hair down. She thought that maybe Castiel only took back what she said because Deanna caught it. 

By the end of the week Deanna was getting more realistic with all of her friends gone to their different sections and Deanna leaving soon it was impossible that she and Castiel could ever have a chance. She needed to take her mind off of it. She figured she would got back to The Bunker one last time. Try to figure out what was happening between her and Castiel before she left. 

Deanna walked into the bar this time sitting alone and found Castiel standing in front of her before she could even ask for something Castiel had already put something in front of her. She looked up and smiled at Castiel.

“Thanks Castiel I really appreciate it.” Deanna spoke almost in a whisper. Castiel tilled her head, “Deanna, isn’t it, I heard your friends calling your name before, any way is something wrong? I see people walk in here all the time with problems weighing on them and you seem like you have one.” 

Deana looked down and shook her head. Who could understand what was really going on in her head? It isn’t like she was going to open up to some bar tender, especially Castiel. How could she? Castiel cared too much and no one can know. Deanna just need to have some fun. She looked up at Castiel and “No, but thanks for the concern.” 

Castiel knew this was a lie but wasn’t about to press the subject with Deanna. She couldn’t do that do someone like Deanna. WAAC girls had a thing for being quick to react negatively to prying. 

Once Castiel got off Deanna asked her to stay. To play pool with her. It seemed like a good excuse at the time. It worked well, Castiel stayed and they played all night. Castiel was much better than Deanna thought she would be. 

By the time it was time for Castiel to go home Deanna had started calling her a new name, Cas. Cas was Deanna’s name for her. It was something that made the night better. Deanna offered to walk her home. Deanna was hoping that she might just say yes. She really wanted to protect Cas, for some reason. Deanna knew this wasn’t a good idea. She was leaving soon and if Cas got attached then she would hurt her. Something about Cas was fragile. Deanna knew that Cas could probably take care of herself, but Cas seemed like she was just broken. Deanna want to heal her not open that wound again.


End file.
